My Ex Wants Me Back & What Do Guys Want?
Dear Plaid Buddha: What do you do when your ex confesses his love for you after seeing each other for the first time in a while, but he has a girlfriend and he and I broke up a year ago? This also made me miss him. He also said he’s unhappy with his girlfriend now.
Wow. There is a lot going on here. Let’s see if we can break it down.
- Your ex sounds like a horn dog that wants a piece on the side. And you are the piece! Ok, that may sound crude, but come on. It is not uncommon for someone to use flattery to get the object of their desire (you) to comply with their wishes (hook up). PROCEED WITH CAUTION.
- Do you really want to get back together with this guy, a guy who is in a RELATIONSHIP with a GIRLFRIEND (NOT you) and while he is in a relationship WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND, confesses his love for his ex? He sounds like a shady character to me. Actions ALWAYS reveal true intentions.
- Ok, let’s say on the OUTSIDE chance I have completely misjudged your boyfriend and he really is telling you this with only the best intentions. And, let’s say that you do really want him back. I suggest your best course of action would be to thank him for his compliment and if what he says is true, that he should contact you after he breaks up with his current girlfriend.
- And IF he tells you he has broken up with his girlfriend and he wants to date you, get confirmation that the breakup is real, and then take it slow and start over. You guys broke up for a reason and whatever that was — I bet that there is still some unresolved baggage from that event.
My best suggestion though, is to thank him for the compliment, smile and turn to show him all that he is missing and go back to your life. You guys broke up for a reason. Move on.
Dear Plaid Buddha: What do guys look for in a first impression from a girl?
Boobies.
No not really, but someone’s outward appearance, which includes how they act, is one of the first things that catches our attention and piques our curiosity.
From what I’ve learned and heard from various people, beyond looks, men are often impressed with a woman who expresses herself with confidence.
Dan West is a retired Communication Studies professor and is now The Plaid Buddha, teaching mindfulness and metaphysics and providing advice about life, love and everything. He can be reached at https://www.everclear.com/danw
To have your question answered in one of his columns, please write to Dan at: The Plaid Buddha, PO Box 132, Union Furnace, OH 43158
